Monday, March 7, 2011

百德孝为先


今天在某处看到一句留言,人生有三样事情不能等待:一, 孝敬父母, 二,尽量让家里摆脱贫困, 三, 实现自己心中的梦想。

但对我来说,第二和第三不是说想做就能马上去做的,有时候还要等待适当的时机和贵人的协助,方可成事。只有第一,孝敬父母是能马上去做又不能等待的事。

尤其我看到父母在最近身体状况双双亮起红灯,我才警系到父母真的都老了。但有时候只能感慨自己的能力有限,心有余而力不足,无法减轻他们的负担,使我看在眼里,疼在心里。

我家是一个非常传统的华人家族体系,打从我公公的公公开始,就有家谱,我也曾看过那本厚厚的家谱,但里面的名字,没有一个认识的,除了我这一辈的...(哇靠,我知道。。)。而我家从以前就受此宣陶,男尊女卑,男主外,女主内;在父亲的严厉管教下,我们在家都表现的非常严肃。应此我们都不敢表现自我;很多时候,我们在外是一个性格,回到家即刻转性。这也许造成我们不想回家的原因。但近几年,父亲的性格随着年纪和健康问题,开始软化许多;可是他还是很难摆脱多年的严父形象,没办法拉下面子和臭脾气。不管怎样,我相信,我们兄弟姐妹们都很想为父母和家人做点事;只是不敢表露出来。

不管怎样,至少此刻我在他们身边,时时刻刻从旁协助;这是我能做到的。要行孝,要趁早。。。难听的说一句,不要等到树欲静而风不止,子欲养而亲不在才来后悔。

Sunday, March 6, 2011

结婚?


最近我参加了一些朋友的婚礼,也遇见不少朋友要筹备年底的婚礼;甚至有的朋友嚷着很想结婚。。。当然我们都到了适婚年龄,身边的朋友逐个纷纷结婚去了,不免为自己的孤单而感慨。再加上亲朋戚友的催促下,结婚压力确实很大。


在出席朋友婚礼的时候,不免常听到朋友们或uncle, auntie们问:“什么时候轮到你啊?”面对这尴尬的问题,我常用傻笑来应付;或者利用身边其他单身的朋友来当挡箭牌。。。


结婚,组织家庭,生儿育女是每一个人的天职,这是一个社会的定律,从小我们就被灌输这种观念,然而随着人们不断成长,接受的教育背景差异和个人观点与思想不同;许多人认为结婚是不必要的。没错,看看今天的西方社会,早婚的人是不少,但迟婚的人更多;离了婚又结婚的还要多。但必须强调的是迟婚者大多数是受过高等教育的成功人士和专业人士。有些人更跑去红娘中心和网站去寻找伴侣,也许是因为他们都受过高等教育,择偶条件也相对提高;因此也难找到另一半。但在他们当中,不少人认为结婚并非必经之路,而且多余的。


在西方世界,政府为了鼓励人们结婚,给予很多福利和津贴,也有不少法律保护配偶的权益。然而,破碎婚姻依然陈出不穷,最后还是离婚收场。。。我们常看欧美电影常出现的情节,在结婚宣誓的时候常有的一段:“是否愿意一生一世爱她,保护她。。。不管富有贫苦,对她不离不弃。。。一生只爱她一人。”在你说“我愿意”之前请想清楚,你能不能做到?


再回到东方社会,结婚不只是两个人的事,而是两家人的事;这句话用在东方社会更贴切,很多时候我们必须考虑到家人和对方家人的想法,往往我们年轻的必须退步来达成共识。曾经听过一对夫妇对我吐苦水,对方结婚前后性格大转变,还有孩子的奶粉钱,尿片钱,教育费,供车,供楼和生活开销。。。每逢过年还要包红包,长辈也要给一份。搞到过个年,脸也青了。有时候,媳妇和家公家婆相处不融洽,也会被搞到吐血吧。


所以,单身也有单身的好,孑然一身;没有婚姻,家庭和承诺的束缚,做任何事都可以很潇洒。可能有时候会觉得孤独寂寞,尤其是看到别人成双成对,心里会很羡慕和自卑。但这种感觉过了,就没了。


你想结婚了吗?


Friday, March 4, 2011

Liar


Recently I'm reading a book about self-thinking, to share interesting story in the book, the author had once met a well-known profession, but turn out to be a big fat liar. In this society, people are shrewd and cunning, you can't even tell who is telling a truth and who is lying.

A person once told me: "Do not lie, if you do; you may not be caught at the first time, but eventually you will be caught because you may not be able to remember which lie you made. No matter under any circumstances, try not to lie, you may need to create more lie to cover the previous one."

That's reminds me once I lied during the time I was in US and working as a waiter in a restuarant. A regular customer brought some of her friends to our restuarant during peak hours, about 6 of them and I was lucky to be their waiter, because she always is a generous tips giver. At the beginning, we had a great started, nice greeting and chatting, I even making jokes with them, everything seems fine. After the order was placed, and the wines are served, there are more customers came in to the restuarant, and rapidly; I had two more tables to serve, I have to start serving the main course to the first table disgarding they only started enjoying their appetizer and wine.

While the kitchen preparing the food, I spent the time to take other table's orders, I was managing quite well of the timing, but when I started serving the dishes, the disaster is coming; I had one undone dish to be served, which means I can only serve 5 dishes, and there is one person need to wait patiently for his dish; it seems normal, but the dish is the trickiest dish, Salted-Pepper Shrimp with shelf. The kitchen suddenly became busy and overwhelmed, the shrimps was just placed under other dishes without preparing. I told the kitchen to make my dish but they just ignored me, and I kept apologizing to the customer and promised him will be done soon.

I was like a bug standing on the hot pan, I was so scared as the kitchen was too busy to prepare my dish, the customer kept staring at me as the other people almost finished their food, I had to make another lie to tell him they were deep-frying the shrimp, should be ready in 5 more minutes, and the regular customer was smiling arkwardly through her friend as he is almost losing his patient.

I went through the kitchen again and pushed them to make my dish again, but the situation in the kitchen is even worse, it hard to be explained, picture this "you will be scolded dreadfuly anytime if you make any noise". At that time I knew I was doomed, and I won't dare to get near to that table again... at last, the major disaster is happening, the regular customer came over personally to find me and yelled at me in front of other customers and claimed that she had lost her face in front of her friends... and then things turned ugly as she found out that I was lying... anyway, this incident was eventually settled by my lady boss, but it was a nightmare for me.

After that incident, she is still coming to my restuarant occasionally, but we never had conversation again, just smiling to each other arkwardly while we met. I was very regret to tell lie to them, actually there are a lot of options for me to deal with this circumstance, I can tell them the truth and suggested them to switch dish or offer them drinks, but definitely no lie.

But now what bother me is before I quited the job in that restuarant, I had met her in the restuarant, I was planning to go to her table and apologize to her personally, but eventually, I was still not brave enough to do so, it left me a shame of my life even until now I still thinking about it sometimes.

Therefore, attempt to not tell a lie to anyone no matter under any situation, you will only lose the credit of your image to other people.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

What do I want?



我要什么????

不知道自己要什么是件非常痛苦的事。好比你到了小贩中心,看到琳琅满目的摊位而不知从何选择。。。担心做出错误的选择而后悔。


朋友常问的一句:“你要吃什么?”

“随便” “看咯”。。。真讨厌。


而选择工作上,似乎就不能够那么"随便”。面对型型色色的工作选择, 该怎么选呢?

当你进入一个工作领域,你将会被定型。将来无论你在哪一间公司,你都会朝着这个领域或方向去发展。。。


你考虑好了吗??

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

count each day

Since I started writing blog.... I should say since I quited my job, those blogs I wrote are very gloomy, blue... my friends who read my blogs are worrying about me and attempted to counselling me and cheering me up.

Indeed, I aware that my blogs are very depressing, I guess that because after I quitted my job, I have too much free time that makes me keep thinking, thinking about what I want, thinking about what I'm pursuiting, thinking about the meaning and the goal of my life... I had been thinking a lot lately, I realized how fragile and weak I am, the helpless and loneliness like a vicious flood submerging my heart gradually, secretly eating my soul until empty without any struggling.

Luckily, I have a whole bunch of good friends who are selfishless grabbing my hand and embracing me tightly to prevent me fell into the deep hazardous ravine.

Now, I write this blog to memorize and reminds me this moment and the moaning period that I had been through in the rest of my life. Do not give up.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Sailing


Sailing a ship by myself in the middle of the night, the darkness is swallowing the whole visual sight as the moonlight was hidden to nowhere; can't even find a star from the sky. The whistle wind bringing the rhythmic waves and pushing my boat moving forward.
Suddenly, the appearence of fog like bringing an army troop wrapping the surface of the sea rapidly; apparently, my boat was also covered by the furious fog immediately. The wind has gone to nowhere, and the waves is stop beating, everything becomes quiet and peaceful.
My ship stops sailing gradually as the wind is stopping, I cannot differential each direction as I am surrounded by the misty fog; here I am, getting lost at the middle of the sea with a blurry and scary sight.
My heart starts pounding faster, and my palm starts sweating, I'm scare and terrified, but there is nothing I can do, but just staying in my ship and waiting for the arrival of the dawn. As I believe I will sail out this brutal circumstance through a brighty sunny day with a breezy wind.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

年年难过,年年过


整个新年期间,都是被炮竹声和舞狮的锣鼓声嘈醒的。相比在两年前,对着皑皑白雪和墨守成规死板的工作流程,今年的新年年味是重了。然而,朋友们却说今年的新年没有以往的热闹,的确。新年前的通货膨涨压力,南马的洪水泛滥;今年很多人都是缩紧腰带,咬着牙关的过年。强颜欢笑背后的心酸,只有自己知道。

在这个社会当中,面子固然重要,但是相较与内心的压力和踏实;很多人依然选择前者,人们情愿打肿脸皮充胖子,带着光鲜亮丽的面罩做人;内心的痛苦与挣扎掩饰得毫无破绽。做个被虚荣心俘辱的奴隶。

而我,亦是如此;过年期间遇到不少别来无恙的老朋友,想打开话匣子好好聊一聊;但由于面子问题和新年的欢闹气氛,我都不敢对他们说我最近过得不好,而尽量扯开话题聊别的。但我相信他们可以从我虚伪的爽朗笑声和躲在角落的沉默不语中找到答案。。。因为我知道我不是一个伪装高手。

在此,我祝愿大家:新年快乐,万事如意,兔气扬眉,兔显魅力,兔飞猛进,扬眉兔气,Happy Chinese New Year 兔 you。

Monday, March 7, 2011

百德孝为先


今天在某处看到一句留言,人生有三样事情不能等待:一, 孝敬父母, 二,尽量让家里摆脱贫困, 三, 实现自己心中的梦想。

但对我来说,第二和第三不是说想做就能马上去做的,有时候还要等待适当的时机和贵人的协助,方可成事。只有第一,孝敬父母是能马上去做又不能等待的事。

尤其我看到父母在最近身体状况双双亮起红灯,我才警系到父母真的都老了。但有时候只能感慨自己的能力有限,心有余而力不足,无法减轻他们的负担,使我看在眼里,疼在心里。

我家是一个非常传统的华人家族体系,打从我公公的公公开始,就有家谱,我也曾看过那本厚厚的家谱,但里面的名字,没有一个认识的,除了我这一辈的...(哇靠,我知道。。)。而我家从以前就受此宣陶,男尊女卑,男主外,女主内;在父亲的严厉管教下,我们在家都表现的非常严肃。应此我们都不敢表现自我;很多时候,我们在外是一个性格,回到家即刻转性。这也许造成我们不想回家的原因。但近几年,父亲的性格随着年纪和健康问题,开始软化许多;可是他还是很难摆脱多年的严父形象,没办法拉下面子和臭脾气。不管怎样,我相信,我们兄弟姐妹们都很想为父母和家人做点事;只是不敢表露出来。

不管怎样,至少此刻我在他们身边,时时刻刻从旁协助;这是我能做到的。要行孝,要趁早。。。难听的说一句,不要等到树欲静而风不止,子欲养而亲不在才来后悔。

Sunday, March 6, 2011

结婚?


最近我参加了一些朋友的婚礼,也遇见不少朋友要筹备年底的婚礼;甚至有的朋友嚷着很想结婚。。。当然我们都到了适婚年龄,身边的朋友逐个纷纷结婚去了,不免为自己的孤单而感慨。再加上亲朋戚友的催促下,结婚压力确实很大。


在出席朋友婚礼的时候,不免常听到朋友们或uncle, auntie们问:“什么时候轮到你啊?”面对这尴尬的问题,我常用傻笑来应付;或者利用身边其他单身的朋友来当挡箭牌。。。


结婚,组织家庭,生儿育女是每一个人的天职,这是一个社会的定律,从小我们就被灌输这种观念,然而随着人们不断成长,接受的教育背景差异和个人观点与思想不同;许多人认为结婚是不必要的。没错,看看今天的西方社会,早婚的人是不少,但迟婚的人更多;离了婚又结婚的还要多。但必须强调的是迟婚者大多数是受过高等教育的成功人士和专业人士。有些人更跑去红娘中心和网站去寻找伴侣,也许是因为他们都受过高等教育,择偶条件也相对提高;因此也难找到另一半。但在他们当中,不少人认为结婚并非必经之路,而且多余的。


在西方世界,政府为了鼓励人们结婚,给予很多福利和津贴,也有不少法律保护配偶的权益。然而,破碎婚姻依然陈出不穷,最后还是离婚收场。。。我们常看欧美电影常出现的情节,在结婚宣誓的时候常有的一段:“是否愿意一生一世爱她,保护她。。。不管富有贫苦,对她不离不弃。。。一生只爱她一人。”在你说“我愿意”之前请想清楚,你能不能做到?


再回到东方社会,结婚不只是两个人的事,而是两家人的事;这句话用在东方社会更贴切,很多时候我们必须考虑到家人和对方家人的想法,往往我们年轻的必须退步来达成共识。曾经听过一对夫妇对我吐苦水,对方结婚前后性格大转变,还有孩子的奶粉钱,尿片钱,教育费,供车,供楼和生活开销。。。每逢过年还要包红包,长辈也要给一份。搞到过个年,脸也青了。有时候,媳妇和家公家婆相处不融洽,也会被搞到吐血吧。


所以,单身也有单身的好,孑然一身;没有婚姻,家庭和承诺的束缚,做任何事都可以很潇洒。可能有时候会觉得孤独寂寞,尤其是看到别人成双成对,心里会很羡慕和自卑。但这种感觉过了,就没了。


你想结婚了吗?


Friday, March 4, 2011

Liar


Recently I'm reading a book about self-thinking, to share interesting story in the book, the author had once met a well-known profession, but turn out to be a big fat liar. In this society, people are shrewd and cunning, you can't even tell who is telling a truth and who is lying.

A person once told me: "Do not lie, if you do; you may not be caught at the first time, but eventually you will be caught because you may not be able to remember which lie you made. No matter under any circumstances, try not to lie, you may need to create more lie to cover the previous one."

That's reminds me once I lied during the time I was in US and working as a waiter in a restuarant. A regular customer brought some of her friends to our restuarant during peak hours, about 6 of them and I was lucky to be their waiter, because she always is a generous tips giver. At the beginning, we had a great started, nice greeting and chatting, I even making jokes with them, everything seems fine. After the order was placed, and the wines are served, there are more customers came in to the restuarant, and rapidly; I had two more tables to serve, I have to start serving the main course to the first table disgarding they only started enjoying their appetizer and wine.

While the kitchen preparing the food, I spent the time to take other table's orders, I was managing quite well of the timing, but when I started serving the dishes, the disaster is coming; I had one undone dish to be served, which means I can only serve 5 dishes, and there is one person need to wait patiently for his dish; it seems normal, but the dish is the trickiest dish, Salted-Pepper Shrimp with shelf. The kitchen suddenly became busy and overwhelmed, the shrimps was just placed under other dishes without preparing. I told the kitchen to make my dish but they just ignored me, and I kept apologizing to the customer and promised him will be done soon.

I was like a bug standing on the hot pan, I was so scared as the kitchen was too busy to prepare my dish, the customer kept staring at me as the other people almost finished their food, I had to make another lie to tell him they were deep-frying the shrimp, should be ready in 5 more minutes, and the regular customer was smiling arkwardly through her friend as he is almost losing his patient.

I went through the kitchen again and pushed them to make my dish again, but the situation in the kitchen is even worse, it hard to be explained, picture this "you will be scolded dreadfuly anytime if you make any noise". At that time I knew I was doomed, and I won't dare to get near to that table again... at last, the major disaster is happening, the regular customer came over personally to find me and yelled at me in front of other customers and claimed that she had lost her face in front of her friends... and then things turned ugly as she found out that I was lying... anyway, this incident was eventually settled by my lady boss, but it was a nightmare for me.

After that incident, she is still coming to my restuarant occasionally, but we never had conversation again, just smiling to each other arkwardly while we met. I was very regret to tell lie to them, actually there are a lot of options for me to deal with this circumstance, I can tell them the truth and suggested them to switch dish or offer them drinks, but definitely no lie.

But now what bother me is before I quited the job in that restuarant, I had met her in the restuarant, I was planning to go to her table and apologize to her personally, but eventually, I was still not brave enough to do so, it left me a shame of my life even until now I still thinking about it sometimes.

Therefore, attempt to not tell a lie to anyone no matter under any situation, you will only lose the credit of your image to other people.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

What do I want?



我要什么????

不知道自己要什么是件非常痛苦的事。好比你到了小贩中心,看到琳琅满目的摊位而不知从何选择。。。担心做出错误的选择而后悔。


朋友常问的一句:“你要吃什么?”

“随便” “看咯”。。。真讨厌。


而选择工作上,似乎就不能够那么"随便”。面对型型色色的工作选择, 该怎么选呢?

当你进入一个工作领域,你将会被定型。将来无论你在哪一间公司,你都会朝着这个领域或方向去发展。。。


你考虑好了吗??

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

count each day

Since I started writing blog.... I should say since I quited my job, those blogs I wrote are very gloomy, blue... my friends who read my blogs are worrying about me and attempted to counselling me and cheering me up.

Indeed, I aware that my blogs are very depressing, I guess that because after I quitted my job, I have too much free time that makes me keep thinking, thinking about what I want, thinking about what I'm pursuiting, thinking about the meaning and the goal of my life... I had been thinking a lot lately, I realized how fragile and weak I am, the helpless and loneliness like a vicious flood submerging my heart gradually, secretly eating my soul until empty without any struggling.

Luckily, I have a whole bunch of good friends who are selfishless grabbing my hand and embracing me tightly to prevent me fell into the deep hazardous ravine.

Now, I write this blog to memorize and reminds me this moment and the moaning period that I had been through in the rest of my life. Do not give up.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Sailing


Sailing a ship by myself in the middle of the night, the darkness is swallowing the whole visual sight as the moonlight was hidden to nowhere; can't even find a star from the sky. The whistle wind bringing the rhythmic waves and pushing my boat moving forward.
Suddenly, the appearence of fog like bringing an army troop wrapping the surface of the sea rapidly; apparently, my boat was also covered by the furious fog immediately. The wind has gone to nowhere, and the waves is stop beating, everything becomes quiet and peaceful.
My ship stops sailing gradually as the wind is stopping, I cannot differential each direction as I am surrounded by the misty fog; here I am, getting lost at the middle of the sea with a blurry and scary sight.
My heart starts pounding faster, and my palm starts sweating, I'm scare and terrified, but there is nothing I can do, but just staying in my ship and waiting for the arrival of the dawn. As I believe I will sail out this brutal circumstance through a brighty sunny day with a breezy wind.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

年年难过,年年过


整个新年期间,都是被炮竹声和舞狮的锣鼓声嘈醒的。相比在两年前,对着皑皑白雪和墨守成规死板的工作流程,今年的新年年味是重了。然而,朋友们却说今年的新年没有以往的热闹,的确。新年前的通货膨涨压力,南马的洪水泛滥;今年很多人都是缩紧腰带,咬着牙关的过年。强颜欢笑背后的心酸,只有自己知道。

在这个社会当中,面子固然重要,但是相较与内心的压力和踏实;很多人依然选择前者,人们情愿打肿脸皮充胖子,带着光鲜亮丽的面罩做人;内心的痛苦与挣扎掩饰得毫无破绽。做个被虚荣心俘辱的奴隶。

而我,亦是如此;过年期间遇到不少别来无恙的老朋友,想打开话匣子好好聊一聊;但由于面子问题和新年的欢闹气氛,我都不敢对他们说我最近过得不好,而尽量扯开话题聊别的。但我相信他们可以从我虚伪的爽朗笑声和躲在角落的沉默不语中找到答案。。。因为我知道我不是一个伪装高手。

在此,我祝愿大家:新年快乐,万事如意,兔气扬眉,兔显魅力,兔飞猛进,扬眉兔气,Happy Chinese New Year 兔 you。