Sunday, March 6, 2011

结婚?


最近我参加了一些朋友的婚礼,也遇见不少朋友要筹备年底的婚礼;甚至有的朋友嚷着很想结婚。。。当然我们都到了适婚年龄,身边的朋友逐个纷纷结婚去了,不免为自己的孤单而感慨。再加上亲朋戚友的催促下,结婚压力确实很大。


在出席朋友婚礼的时候,不免常听到朋友们或uncle, auntie们问:“什么时候轮到你啊?”面对这尴尬的问题,我常用傻笑来应付;或者利用身边其他单身的朋友来当挡箭牌。。。


结婚,组织家庭,生儿育女是每一个人的天职,这是一个社会的定律,从小我们就被灌输这种观念,然而随着人们不断成长,接受的教育背景差异和个人观点与思想不同;许多人认为结婚是不必要的。没错,看看今天的西方社会,早婚的人是不少,但迟婚的人更多;离了婚又结婚的还要多。但必须强调的是迟婚者大多数是受过高等教育的成功人士和专业人士。有些人更跑去红娘中心和网站去寻找伴侣,也许是因为他们都受过高等教育,择偶条件也相对提高;因此也难找到另一半。但在他们当中,不少人认为结婚并非必经之路,而且多余的。


在西方世界,政府为了鼓励人们结婚,给予很多福利和津贴,也有不少法律保护配偶的权益。然而,破碎婚姻依然陈出不穷,最后还是离婚收场。。。我们常看欧美电影常出现的情节,在结婚宣誓的时候常有的一段:“是否愿意一生一世爱她,保护她。。。不管富有贫苦,对她不离不弃。。。一生只爱她一人。”在你说“我愿意”之前请想清楚,你能不能做到?


再回到东方社会,结婚不只是两个人的事,而是两家人的事;这句话用在东方社会更贴切,很多时候我们必须考虑到家人和对方家人的想法,往往我们年轻的必须退步来达成共识。曾经听过一对夫妇对我吐苦水,对方结婚前后性格大转变,还有孩子的奶粉钱,尿片钱,教育费,供车,供楼和生活开销。。。每逢过年还要包红包,长辈也要给一份。搞到过个年,脸也青了。有时候,媳妇和家公家婆相处不融洽,也会被搞到吐血吧。


所以,单身也有单身的好,孑然一身;没有婚姻,家庭和承诺的束缚,做任何事都可以很潇洒。可能有时候会觉得孤独寂寞,尤其是看到别人成双成对,心里会很羡慕和自卑。但这种感觉过了,就没了。


你想结婚了吗?


5 comments:

  1. I agreed with you about your single philosophy, somehow, it's nice to be single, no string attached ! (=

    However, please don't 羡慕和自卑 when you saw other couple, there's nothing wrong to stay single.

    我曾经羡慕成双成对的情侣,但是,现在已经不会了。
    或许,你可以把你的羡慕和自卑转换成对他们的祝福。

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lisa,
    "我曾经羡慕成双成对的情侣,但是,现在已经不会了。”
    I doubt that, aren't you feeling lonely sometimes...deep down your heart somewhere?

    别冰封自己内心,如果有好的机会和对象;要把握!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Charsiew,

    You dont have to doubt, i'm telling the truth, NOPE.. Not even a little bit.

    I'm hella busy everyday.. dont have time to feel lonely.. lol (=

    FYI.. I'm kind of sick with guys too .. haha.. im good with myself

    Hope you will feel better

    L

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Lisa,
    Perhaps I'm just being buttinsky, but I'm glad that you are ok :)
    take care of yourself.

    cheer

    ReplyDelete
  5. Last night, one of my another friend said he wants to get married and settle down... no matter men or women, when they reach the certain age, they will pursuit quiet and harmony life, eating healthier, less drinking and go to bed on time... instead of going to night club, get drunk and end up leaving the empty dance floor and go home alone.
    And he said, after all these years of weight controlling and work-out to make him look good, finally can abandon everything after settling down. (but we mocking him that this theory doesn't work on him since he never work out and look good)
    But I have to say he got his point, and almost talk me into it. Anyway, I should still stand tight on my feet and keep enjoying my bachelor's life.

    ReplyDelete

Sunday, March 6, 2011

结婚?


最近我参加了一些朋友的婚礼,也遇见不少朋友要筹备年底的婚礼;甚至有的朋友嚷着很想结婚。。。当然我们都到了适婚年龄,身边的朋友逐个纷纷结婚去了,不免为自己的孤单而感慨。再加上亲朋戚友的催促下,结婚压力确实很大。


在出席朋友婚礼的时候,不免常听到朋友们或uncle, auntie们问:“什么时候轮到你啊?”面对这尴尬的问题,我常用傻笑来应付;或者利用身边其他单身的朋友来当挡箭牌。。。


结婚,组织家庭,生儿育女是每一个人的天职,这是一个社会的定律,从小我们就被灌输这种观念,然而随着人们不断成长,接受的教育背景差异和个人观点与思想不同;许多人认为结婚是不必要的。没错,看看今天的西方社会,早婚的人是不少,但迟婚的人更多;离了婚又结婚的还要多。但必须强调的是迟婚者大多数是受过高等教育的成功人士和专业人士。有些人更跑去红娘中心和网站去寻找伴侣,也许是因为他们都受过高等教育,择偶条件也相对提高;因此也难找到另一半。但在他们当中,不少人认为结婚并非必经之路,而且多余的。


在西方世界,政府为了鼓励人们结婚,给予很多福利和津贴,也有不少法律保护配偶的权益。然而,破碎婚姻依然陈出不穷,最后还是离婚收场。。。我们常看欧美电影常出现的情节,在结婚宣誓的时候常有的一段:“是否愿意一生一世爱她,保护她。。。不管富有贫苦,对她不离不弃。。。一生只爱她一人。”在你说“我愿意”之前请想清楚,你能不能做到?


再回到东方社会,结婚不只是两个人的事,而是两家人的事;这句话用在东方社会更贴切,很多时候我们必须考虑到家人和对方家人的想法,往往我们年轻的必须退步来达成共识。曾经听过一对夫妇对我吐苦水,对方结婚前后性格大转变,还有孩子的奶粉钱,尿片钱,教育费,供车,供楼和生活开销。。。每逢过年还要包红包,长辈也要给一份。搞到过个年,脸也青了。有时候,媳妇和家公家婆相处不融洽,也会被搞到吐血吧。


所以,单身也有单身的好,孑然一身;没有婚姻,家庭和承诺的束缚,做任何事都可以很潇洒。可能有时候会觉得孤独寂寞,尤其是看到别人成双成对,心里会很羡慕和自卑。但这种感觉过了,就没了。


你想结婚了吗?


5 comments:

  1. I agreed with you about your single philosophy, somehow, it's nice to be single, no string attached ! (=

    However, please don't 羡慕和自卑 when you saw other couple, there's nothing wrong to stay single.

    我曾经羡慕成双成对的情侣,但是,现在已经不会了。
    或许,你可以把你的羡慕和自卑转换成对他们的祝福。

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lisa,
    "我曾经羡慕成双成对的情侣,但是,现在已经不会了。”
    I doubt that, aren't you feeling lonely sometimes...deep down your heart somewhere?

    别冰封自己内心,如果有好的机会和对象;要把握!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Charsiew,

    You dont have to doubt, i'm telling the truth, NOPE.. Not even a little bit.

    I'm hella busy everyday.. dont have time to feel lonely.. lol (=

    FYI.. I'm kind of sick with guys too .. haha.. im good with myself

    Hope you will feel better

    L

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Lisa,
    Perhaps I'm just being buttinsky, but I'm glad that you are ok :)
    take care of yourself.

    cheer

    ReplyDelete
  5. Last night, one of my another friend said he wants to get married and settle down... no matter men or women, when they reach the certain age, they will pursuit quiet and harmony life, eating healthier, less drinking and go to bed on time... instead of going to night club, get drunk and end up leaving the empty dance floor and go home alone.
    And he said, after all these years of weight controlling and work-out to make him look good, finally can abandon everything after settling down. (but we mocking him that this theory doesn't work on him since he never work out and look good)
    But I have to say he got his point, and almost talk me into it. Anyway, I should still stand tight on my feet and keep enjoying my bachelor's life.

    ReplyDelete